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How do I learn Japanese quickly?

May 4, 2010

Dear Udder:

I’m a young steer, just arrived in Japan for a one-year contract on the JET program.  How can I learn the language fast, so that I can meet Japanese heifers?

Impatient in Chiba

Dear Impatient:

Since you do not appear concerned with literacy, levels of politeness and keigo – I respectfully recommend you avoid the classroom.  Most Japanese classes start off with the standard form of polite language, the -masu form, which will hardly assist your anticipated endeavors.  Better to go out into the field; by interacting with locals, you will pick up on the casual form of conversation.  There are endless textbooks or software programs, once your ear becomes tuned to the casual cud of pasture life.

Mooly Yours,

Udder Smith

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